Couples counselling & therapy in Cambridge
At some points in time even the most secure relationships are tested. Although couples share some of the most intimate parts of life with one another, they can often find it difficult to talk to each other about important issues when they arise. Anxiety about how an issue will be heard is often one of the reasons couples don't talk, even though they intuitively realise they should.
Broadly speaking, couples problems tend to break down into several issues around common themes:
Men and women who engage with couples therapy often report that the process allows them to develop helpful new insights into their partner and/or partner's behaviour. They also report that it helps them to develop greater self-knowledge. Counselling and therapy can have a healing function and therefore often become a way to improve your understanding and communication of each other's past hurts, as well as of the current position.
Couples work can allow you the time and space to think about creating realistic and positive attitudes towards each other's future desires. Sadly, relationships also break down or need to move towards an ending. In this case, my therapy space seeks to be a safe place in which couples can continue to respect each other as they work towards the relationship's conclusion through separation or divorce.
Sexual issues have a great impact on the intimacy a couple can experience. Click to the sexual issues page for further details of work in this area.
For a short informal conversation about working with me, or to book an appointment for yourself or as a couple, call me confidentially on 01223 504376 or email [email protected]
Cheaper than a divorce
Article added 1 November 2015
Some of the ills of today’s multi-media, socially networked life are that expectations of things can be unrealistically high. From rom-coms to choosing the right restaurant, we all get fed through image and consumption some pretty unobtainable ideas. And in relationships, especially aspects around sex, people can easily become disenchanted.
When expectations are high, the crash of reality can send people heading for the relationship exit way too soon. While separation can be emotionally harrowing, for those who have made joint commitments to mortgages and/or marriage there is a big financial price to pay too.
While I don’t think anyone should remain in a miserable relationship, as a couple’s therapist I see more ‘lack of quality communication’ than outright relationship breakdown. (Believe it or not, poor communication itself can indirectly lead to infidelities.)
If you consider that a study by Aviva (2014) concludes a typical divorcing couple spends £43,958 on the process, you can see the true value of taking some time to talk about your relationship, together with a therapist. Although therapy might initially look expensive, it can represent excellent value when set against the real costs of your relationship turning to ashes.
Duncan E. Stafford MBACP (accred) registered and accredited counsellor / psychotherapist bound by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s Ethical Framework for Good Practice